Once upon a tyme... part 2

Autumn Landscape at Dusk

More situations!
Credits to Sarah Iqbal
Please interpret on your own yeah!

Situation 1
# A friend that you've known for a long time, recently called you, "pendatang" and "illegal". You just a gave a smirked.

monologue: Emm...? sori la...its not my fault that u're born a fucking retard! buang masa je aku spend tyme with u all these years.

Situation 2
# You saw a Jason Mraz look alike giving a presentation about his artworks in Kinokuniya and you started stalking him.

monologue: why am i doin this? i dont even like Jason Mraz! wait! that not even him!! arghH!!!

Situation 3
# You were having early dinner with your boyfriend and your best friend and her mother was stalking you.

monologue: eh? kitorang kawan je la auntie... (ill get u letter, damn fren u are!) nk ikot pon tak yah la bwk mak ko... bagong tol!

Situation 4
# When is so obvious that your in a relationship even though when you're not stating it and suddenly, a human asked you this question, "when are you guys becoming an item?". You just smiled.

monologue: do u honestly i think i would share that with u? if u're person that i think should noe, u would already have!

Situation 5
# You were lining up for popcorns and u saw a malay couple, engaging themselves in having PDA. The girl was wearing hijab. You turned away and sigh.

monologue: Cik, kami dari JAKIM... Cik dh Kahwin ke?

TooDles!

How to tie a tie?

Apricot Trees in Blossom

it seems that i guys nowadays have learnt the ways of tying a tie....
ties are really important as well as the technique u tie it...
they are one of the few accessories guys have in their outfit unlike girls which have like so many...

girls have,

1. earring
2. hijjab
3. scarfs
4. necklaces
5. brooch
6. hairpins
7. hair ornaments
8. makeup
9. etc... u get my drift...

guys have...

1. ties
2. belts

dont u see the 'penindasan?'

so now guys do tend to be aware of wat they wear...
but there is still the chosen few who does not have a clue on how to tie a tie...

so sad...
i knew how to tie a tie since i was in primary school...
i love wearing a tie...
i feel dignified...
i feel important....
hahhaa...
i feel cool.

once i wore a tie to work and my collegues ask all these questions...
i just simply told them...

'i just feel like wearing it'

then my boss came to me holding two pair of ties...
he said,

'Mael! Tolong ajar ikat tie boleh?'

hehe... sure.

so,
for those few guys out there...
here is how u do it.

toodles!

simple yet weird...

Still Life with Five Bottles

i dont really have anytin to say...
im really sleepy...
the clock shows 2.45am...
wat the hell am i doin still awake???
shit!
i should sleep.
daa..

toodles

try writing while u're sick!

Cypresses With Two Figures

it has been a really long 4 days since my last post...
last weekend i had a really bz two days i had two prepare for a dinner show and i had to participate for a bowling comp...

basically i lost the competition...(got 4th)
i made several mistakes during the show...

but i had a really good tyme doin both...
it was a long tyme since i had tyme to hang with pjan, ruud, pah and shahir...
so it was tyme well spent...

i also enjoyed doin the show coz it have been a long while since my last show outside of uni...

me and the nafastari dance team..

but dont let these events, deter me from my main objective today...
which is...

NINA'S BURBDAY!!!

happy birthday dear!
sori i cant be there with u celebrating...
(but im here in my room, sick! typing this up for u)
but ill make it up to you somehow....
hope u have many more burbdays to come and many more memories that come with it..

this is nina, everybody!

nina is a dear fren of mine
and appreciate every moment we have spent together...
a person of great personality and humour...
u are a great fren.

i wish u all the best in ur future

so, sorry for all the mistakes ive done to u.
sorry for not able to dedicate my performance to u last Sunday..
(i tried but, those mc's are just unnegotiatable...)
and sori for the times i had to raise my voice...

tanx for always being there,
tanx for the happy memories,
tanx for the many escapes...
tanx for my wonderful burbday,
tanx for being my fren.

hapy birthday, nina.

p.s
she has also lied to people,
telling them its her burbday eventho its not...
(kesian hanif and Dr.)
but i dont think it worked tho...

toodles!

10 rules!

I am particularly worried of when i will have children of my own...
i would wish that i could bring them up in a city but not in the environment of a city...
u get me?

i dont want to raise my children in an environment like what it is today in KL.
it would be to hard and my gurls would be too exposed to social mishaps...

i would have to put up rules on how people are to treat my daughter especially people who she would date.

10 Rules To Date My Daughter

Farm House In A Wheat-field

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering somtin, because you're sure not picking anything up. I'll smack u on the head if u do!

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. PERIOD! You may glance at her, so long as you do not stare at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will personally break them off.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this:

You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my stapler gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'protection' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the protection, and I will kill you. (with Allah's permition, of course.) Get married first, PLZ!

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this.

TAK YAH NK BODEK AK!

The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is

"sebelum maghrib."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

If you make her cry,

I will make you cry.

Seriously!

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Jabatan Pulau Pinang. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like

1. massaging my back
2. helping my wife to clean the toilet
3. cut the grass
4. buy me a slurpee
5. organizing my address book.
   

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter :

1. Places where there have beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.
2. Places where there have no parents, policemen, or 4 org saksi within eyesight.
3. Places where there is darkness.
4. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.
5. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, baby T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, Jubah - zipped up to her throat.
6. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay.
7. Liga Piala Malaysia games are ok.
   
8. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a fat, balding, middle-aged, and a dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter,

I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.

If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, a stapler gun, dancing shoes and five acres behind the house. Do not play with me.

Rule Ten:
Treat her with all the respect you can manage.
Love her with all ur heart...
or u will suffer the wrath of my fist!

p/s this list can only be applied to the real world if one day i would have a daughter...
either wise, plz ignore.
Toodles!

Once upon a tyme...

St Pauls Hospital

Post copied from Sarah Iqbal...
i cant help but to copy this,
its sooo funny...

Feel free to make your own interpretations.

situation 1
# You were eating lunch at 5pm and someone knocked on your door. Turns out to be a salesgirl promoting coupons.

monologue: kenapa datang umah org petang2 nie... ko nie biar betul? BALIK!!

situation 2
# Your friend, a Vietnamese, went back to Vietnam just to celebrate Valentines with his girlfriend.

monologue: OMG! why are u doin this? u noe she's cheating on you!

situation 3
# Your friend asked you what did you do for valentines. You just smiled.

monologue: BODOH! as if u dont know im single!

situation 4
# You asked your friend to sign the attendance form for class on your behalf. They did not sign. They said they were sorry. You said, "its ok".

monologue: kenapa poyo sgt? bukan nyer ak suruh ko jilat kertas tue? give me a break!

situation 5
# A guy walked passed you while you were enjoying a cup of coffee and he said, "wow". You just kept drinking.

monologue: die nk tegor somebody else kot... ada org kat blakang ak ke? die nie salah org nie... asal die dok pandang ak lagi nie? FREAK!

situation 6
# You really needed to go to the restroom. Unfortunately, it was full. And the person inside was taking bloody long.

monologue: owh SHIT! plz come out! ak dh terkentot2 dh nie!

situation 7
# You walk passed beautiful people and they gave you 'the look'.

monologue: what are u looking at? malu la...jgn la pandang2! i noe i look good. :D

toodles.

Safety First y'all!

Vincents Bedroom

i am never a person who worries too much about my safety...
ive always thought that
"nothing ventured nothing gained..."

i am now in a talk talking bout safety in a workplace..
he is talking so much bout safety on a construction site and things like that..
im curious..
does he think he is talking to construction workers?
i have no idea why he is talking bout safety boots and gas masks to students..?
so i thought,
i should turn on my laptop and write somtin on my blog....


5 minutes have past...
he is still talking about ear protection...
maybe i can wear that to class....
maybe on presentation days...
that could be useful.

im thinking of why the university suddenly thought of organizing this talk...
i think,
after the incident when 2 of my friends where trapped in the elevator a month ago,
the uni. is scared of getting sued.
so they thought of doin this to make it seem like they care of our safety...
oh!
i think that is it!
im sure of it!
politics!

yaadaa...yaadaa...yaadaa...

toodles!

hear me out.

Cottages at Cordeville

"i dh paham sgt u camne... i dh lama kenal u nie."
"tak yah la nk ckp cam tue, mcm la ak br kenal u smlm.."

i hate this two sentences.

i dont believe in it...
i wont believe in it...
and i apologize to anybody who i ever said this to...

i cant imagine anybody to noe u well enough to ever say that...
even if u are frens since like 4ever...
i dont think this 2 sentences can ever be said,
PERIOD!
i cant even say that to my best fren whom ive known since primary school...
wat more to a person i just knew a for a few years...

a person can change,
a person will change,
sad, but true...

i am no longer the person i was in school and i believe everybody is the same...
it may not be a big difference but the change is still there..

why?
i blame it on the environment and surroundings..
coz when ever we move to a new place,
we will most probably change to adapt to the new environment.
this can happen without even the person himself noticing..

i recently realised this when i had to meet up with a few school friends...
i just feel so different and
i had a really difficult time trying to talk as i dont think we have anytin in common anymore...
even tho we were actually really close back then..

this is maybe,
a problem i alone am facing...
if so, plz tell me ur view...
coz i really think i am at fault here...

coz im a firm believer of
'a friend will always be 4ever a friend'

but people do change and we do grow apart...
that is how life goes...
i guess.

toodles.

I live For The stage!

Avenue of Poplars at Sunset


it has been a really artsy week for me...
i went to watch Puteri Gunung Ledang last sunday...
i was on Valentines Day, (not like it matters..)
the play was so gooD!
the stage was magnificent!
the actors was great especially the characters of Patih and Bayan...
i love that the play tells about the sacrifices done in the name of love.
eg. Bayan was willing to kill herself to protect Gusti

all in all,
i just LOVE the way they told the story about the relationship of Gusti and Bayan.
i think its both lovely and sad at the same time

stephen rahman was just ok, for me...
he didnt actually blew my mind away...
he was in other words - mediocre.

Tiara was actually quite good.
her performance was believable.
her dancing was quite ok as well...
i just wish that she would have more parts not being alone or with Hang Tuah..

in a nutshell,
the play was good,
the stage effect was great,
the actors was ok,
the props was repetitive,
i think the play was good because of the supporting casts,
the dance sequences could have been better,
i hope this play will generate lots more big scale stage productions...


yesterday i went with EIE+2 to watch a theatre.
Entitled "women and Independence"
i dont actually see anything in the play relating to the topic directly but it was entertaining to watch none the less.
the play was performed by IIU students.
there were two stories,

'it takes two to tango'
tells a story about two married couple who struggles with marital issues...

the second
'aduhai...soto!'
tells the story of a community that tackles the issue of
pre-marital sex,
teen pregnancy,
and family values...

both was entertaining and full of values to learn from...
all the actors were actually pretty good.
watching theatre got me thinking of how much work it takes to stage one..
how many people it takes to make it as smooth as possible...
something could go wrong and
'puff'
the whole play is ruined...
i wish i could witness one..hehe

i once wished that i could join aand act in a stage production..
i still do..
i now realise that my time is runing out and i should really make it happen soon...

but,
i am now perfectly content with dancing
i dont want to be greedy...
you shouldnt be too...
im a firm believer of being good at what u love,
learn and practice
till u get it mastered...
yeah, yeah...
i now that people say that it is never to late to try,
but i cant imagine if i start working oneday,
to be SIMPLY doin theatre at the same time...
nah...

Toodles!

this is my now!

Weaver

we have offically finish doin the dreadful technical report!
i am so relieved that we have finish,
but not in a very fantastic manner if i may add.

so now lets SIMPLY continue with the proposal!

that is all.

Toodles!

Hello! my face is up here!

Night Cafe

for those who dont noe...
im a dancer...
primarily malay traditional dances...
i might not be best one out there, but i love to do it none the less....
rite now im a dancer for my university...

there are many challenges in relation to this pastime.
especially if u are a muslim..
the most significant one is when guys are directly labeled as softies and homos when they like to dance...
i cant actually blame them,
coz this fact is mostly true coz from my experience performing for shows, i found that most of the male dancers out there are like that...
u have no idea how many times i have been appoached by a man,
how many dreadful sms's i gotten from a dude asking to be a friend...
asking if i was seeing anybody,
asking if i have been dancing long.
OMG!
it was so dreadful!
dont try and make small talk with me
coz i noe all u want to do is to try and get inside my pants!
there are also a few that actually really nice and didnt try anythin weird

but that will not stop me from doin what i love.

dance is a form of expression of delicate movement...
a twist of a wrist,
a slight jerk of the head,
a bend of the knee,
a stare of the eyes,
a smirk of the mouth,
anythin even remotely visible to the eye can make it of break it for a dancer.

i love it coz malay traditional dances are like any other traditional dance,
it tells a story.

• it can be a story of a princess getting ready to meet her prince
• it can be a story of a group of friends playing
• it can also be a story about birds flying and playing freely in the sky.

my love for dance can never be over shadowed by the fact that i can be labeled by those who does not understand that this art which is almost forgoten by our generation...
my dance is strictly for the art.

coz i noe...
that there are many people out there who love the thought of dancing but are not able to SIMPLY bcoz of physical, mental and also due to religious reasons...

im not goin to let anybody stop me...

Toodles!

A day of Love

Almond Blossom

yes i noe that as a muslim we are not to be celebrating V-Day.
but i cant but help to imagine how it would be like to celebrate the day.
walks on the beach...(saw it on a movie)
goin to a theme park...
giving flowers and gifts to each other...
just spending time with a loved one is SIMPLY enough...

then i got thinking,
i shouldnt celebrate valentines day!
coz i can express love any day of the year...
i dont need this so called day to show my appriciation to my frens and family...

a day spent doin laundry can be a memorable day if its done with somebody...
with that said, i cant remember when was the last day i did my laundry.
hahaha...

Toodles

Slap!

hill of montmartre with quarry 1492

this have been so hactic these past few days.... sleepless nights seems to past by unnoticed.... and i just dont have the energy to even care.

i now have new found respect for those who can keep this up without any complain...

im goin to watch PGL this saturday and i cant wait...
i really need this for myself.
just to have the time for myself is devine these days...
have u ever experienced this feeling..?

there was once a tyme when i was so "not well"...
that i left my groupmates in the middle of the night,
leavin my team speechless,
presentation not done,
panel not done,
with the presentation tomorow...!

i went back to my room and was in lullaby land in 5 minutes...

i really regret wat happened that day...
i was really tired and i was actually in the cafe trying to finish the panels for presentation but my laptop brokedown and the document got lost somwhere in hell, i suppose..
i would really like to apologize to my teammates for being such a crappy leader.

tomorrow is goin to be another presentation day...
we actually presented last week but the lecturers suddenly are not satisfied with wat they have presented which they approved beforehand....(i can never understand the otak of a lect.)
i was furious!
but life moves on...
i noe that there are a lot of people who suffers from unreasonable lecturers syndrome...
eg.my sis....

i dont want my kids to ever experience these kind of people...
with no manners,
no ettiques,
no respect towards students...

if god permits, i would love to be an educator...
lecturer?
ustaz?
nah...

i want to a normal teacher, teaching in highschool...
i dont noe why, i just do...
just maybe when a student misbehaves i could just SIMPLY give him a long, tight SLAP!

Toodles!

Just Between Friends

Vineyards At Auvers

This post is dedicated to all my frens who have been with me for the past 20 years of my life...

Being a friend means mastering the art of timing.
There is a time for silence.
A time to let go and allow people to hurt themselves into their own history.
And a time to pick up the pieces when its over.

-Gloria Naylor

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.
-Helen Keller

No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.
-Alice Walker

i think if its at all possible,
your best friend and you owe it to each other
to make some space just to be alone together again,
That way, you can talk a bout what you were,
and that feels good.
You ca also talk about what you are - thats trickier,
but if you're lucky, that feels good, too.

-Elizabeth Berg

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is by far the best ending for one.
-Oscar Wilde

A mile walked with a friend contains only a hundred steps.
-Russian Proverb

In my friend, i find a second self.
-Isabel Norton

With every friend i love who has been taken into the brown bosom of the earth
a part of me has been buried there,
but their contribution to my being of happiness,
strength and understanding remains
to sustain me in an altered world.

-Helen Keller

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
-William Blake

(belive me, i would know! ive been there...)

When you're down and troubled,
and you need some love and care,
and nothing is going right,
close your eyes and think of me
and soon i will be there to brighten up even your darkest night.
You just call out my name and you know wherever i am,
I'll come running to see you again....
You've got a friend.

-Carole King

Autumn Landscape

There are no strangers here - only friends i havent met.
-Anonymous

If you want happiness for an hour - take a nap,
If you want happiness for a day - go fishing,
If you want happiness for a month - get married,
If you want happiness for a year - inherit a fortune,
If you want happiness for a lifetime - help someone else.

-Chinese Proverb

I can say that my friends are the defining point that makes me, me.
I learn from them,
they learn from me,
i eat with them,
i go to classess with them,
i laugh with them,
i go shoppin with them,
i experience life with them,
i write my lifes story with them being among the main characters...
You are SIMPLY a part of my life.
and im a part of yours.
-Esmael Yahya

Toodles...